Sunday, April 07, 2013
The Riddle Of The Housekeepers And The Cat
A riddle for you:
You require the services of a new housekeeper, to whom you will supply money for the day to day running of the house.
There are two applicants for the job, both of whom you have employed before.
Housekeeper 1 is disapproving of your bank overdraft, and claims to be reluctant to spend any of the housekeeping until the overdraft is cleared.
Housekeeper 1 also refuses to personally carry out essential jobs around the house. Instead, Housekeeper 1 will insist it is better value for money to pay their friends to do the jobs instead, even though it ends up costing you twice as much.
Housekeeper 1 will, at the same time, insist that any non-essential items bought for their own personal use, be paid for out of the housekeeping.
Housekeeper 1 will refuse to feed the cat, citing the cat's unwillingness to contribute to its own food, despite the existence of a tin opener. Housekeeper 1 will neglect to accept that the tin opener provided is unsuitable for use by the cat, and is in any case kept out of the cat's reach, inside a locked cupboard.
Housekeeper 1 will replace your comprehensive first aid kit with items bought individually at much greater cost.
Housekeeper 1 will throw out all of your favourite books, board games and documentaries, and in their place purchase a single encyclopaedia and quiz book. Any member of the household who fails to enjoy the encyclopaedia and reach the required standard in the annual quiz, will be turned into a cat.
Housekeeper 2 is much like Housekeeper 1, but will on occasion at least remember to feed the cat.
You have no choice but to employ one of the two housekeepers.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I shall probably vote Labour at the next election.
When I originally posted this on Facebook, it sparked this marvellous conversation...