Dear BBC 6Music,
Please don't go all wanky.
I know you feel good about yourself right now, having fought off the threat of possible closure, and you recently celebrated your tenth birthday. I'd even go as far as to say that you're entitled to be a little smug about it all.
But really, you're beginning to sound a bit wanky.
I'll confess I'm as interested as the next man if Alex James from Blur is selected to write the next James Bond theme tune. But that's not what he told you. You asked him if he'd ever like to do it, and he said yes.
I'm sorry to be frank with you, but I think that most musicians would have given you the same answer. And I fear that you going on about it all the time will only serve to make people think you're quite wanky.
I feel awful about telling you this, but I consider you a close friend. I've been with you since the very beginning. And friends don't let friends be wanky.
And your story about when Brian Wilson told you he wasn't going to re-form the Beach Boys? That isn't momentous. It's wanky.
I'm begging you.
Stop being wanky.
Philip Hatchard x