What Do You Reckon? David Cameron Would Like To Know

Well, I suppose it had to happen eventually.  Government by uninformed public forum.  The coalition would like the views of the ordinary man on the street on how to save money, because apparently the opinions of their qualified economic expert advisers aren't enough.

And how are they going to implement this?  Well, Facebook, of course.  Because you're opinion matters, but only if you are registered with a social networking site with questionable ethics and unrealistic farming simulations.  Rather than designing a website that is actually designed for the purpose.  Or, God forbid, actively seeking out members of the public with whom to engage.

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£10 in 2.5 hours?

Right.  You have til 9pm tonight to make me keep the moustache a little bit longer and perform stand-up comedy with it still fixed to my face.  The donation page has yet to reach £5,060...

Go!

http://justgiving.com/hoja

Correlation, causation, and the most offensive article I've ever seen in The Guardian

On the way home today I picked up the copy of the Guardian that was left behind by the person sat next to me.

Now, normally I'd be proud to admit to being the sort of lily-livered lefty who reads the Guardian, but then I wouldn't be banking on page 13.

The Guardian is the home of Bad Science, an excellent column by Ben Goldacre.  Yet page 13 contains an article that is a textbook example of bad science.  I'd also suggest that in the headline - Countries' high rates of disease linked to lower IQs, claim scientists - that the editor should could arguably have insisted on putting the word "scientists" in inverted commas and preceding it with the word "racist".

It starts innocently, albeit banally, enough with a no-shit-Sherlock opening gambit:

People who live in countries where disease is rife may have lower IQs because they have to divert energy away from brain development to fight infections, scientists in the US claim.

Well, yes, quite.  It should be no surprise that small children who are ill or suffering from malnutrition do not have the same resources to devote to brain development.  But this is hardly news.

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The Boy Who Made My Day (Or, What Happened To The Other Half Of The Train?)

"£1.29 please."

"£1.29 for a cheap plastic biro?"

"Yes."

"I think I just won't bother doing my marking on the way home, then."

I don't think I would have been able to do my marking on the way home anyway.  It was rush hour by the time I got to East Croydon Station today and the trains were all full and slightly delayed.

I boarded the second train that stopped and walked through three carriages before finding a seat, in the middle of a three, next to a nine or ten year old Asian boy, who sat opposite his mother.

The boy grinned at me, and greeted me enthusiastically.  I grinned back at him, and turned my headphones down a little in case any noise was leaking out.

A pretty girl with a flower in her hair sat down opposite me.

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New Moustache-Based Target

Okay, I've been mulling this over.  Dressing up at the weekend was quite enjoyable.  It was amongst friends.  They all understood and knew what I was doing.

However, deciding to show the video to my Sixth Form class today was less enjoyable.  They don't know what I'm really like, and I think I confused and slightly scared them, and embarrassed myself quite a lot.  It was excruciating...

...but important.

If I'm asking people to donate money to the Hoja Project, then I think it's necessary for me to look as stupid and awkward as possible.

Which is why my new target is:

If the Hoja donation page reaches £5,250 before the moustache is shaved off (no earlier than 3rd July) then I'll do a stand up routine dressed as I am in the video.   

If you donate you may make a suggestion about the routine.  I won't guarantee I'll go with it, but I'll go with as many as possible.  You've got a better chance if you keep it clean but unusual (as part of the deal I may well deliberately video this and then show it to my pupils on purpose).

This target may be flexible, and I may break it down into mini-targets approaching the £5,250, each more embarrassing than the last.

So it's likely that, say, £5,100 will get you a stand-up routine with me dressed normally.  £5,150 will get you something a little bit more foolish, and so on.  As suggestions are made I'll make clear pledges on this.

And here's that video again for those who can't be bothered to click the links above:

Mr Hatchard's Magnificent Moustache (At The Joinee Olympics) from Phil Hatchard on Vimeo.

PS. I've never ever done any stand up before. Standing on my own on stage terrifies me, especially if I'm not well prepared. Which I almost certainly won't be.

PPS. Do pass this on to your friends and get them to donate too.  I'll make sure I advertise where the stand-up is going to be so you can see it live if you are able.